Originally published July 2009.

In the book,  Relationships & the Law of Attraction, by Abraham-Hicks publications, it said, “ We attract relationships that cause us pain because we need to affirm our core beliefs about ourselves and we attract the relationships we need to help us grow.”  But what does it mean when we experience pain in a seemingly healthy, loving relationship?  It is within that relationship where we are safe and unconditionally loved that we often experience the most pain as we try to re-enact an old pattern, heal a deeper wound, and begin to mature emotionally.  That relationship becomes the greenhouse that allows our soul to bloom.

It’s safe to be alone and work on ourselves.  We can totally focus on our own personal development and self-growth.  We might feel intermittent loneliness but any deep underlying insecurities may not arise.  Any defenses and old patterns of behavior go into remission because we aren’t triggered by another person.  

 If we do grow, chances are that we will become very attractive.  There’s nothing more attractive than a woman who exudes self-confidence, well-being, and a beauty that can only come from within.  If we’ve progressed very far, we’ll attract a safer, more loving relationship than the last one.  

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.  ~Marcel Proust

Photo courtesy of Olga from Flickr.com

The truth of what is going on inside of us at the core vibrational level always manifests in the physical world.  If we are holding onto grief, we may develop a respiratory infection in our lungs.  If we're refusing to be open-minded, we may develop a stiff neck.  If we have cluttered minds and spiritual closets, we may alo have cluttered homes, offices, or cars.  Our spiritual truth will show up somewhere in our lives.
 

This year my truth showed up in my flower garden.  The photo to the right is how the flower bed is supposed to look.  The truth is that this year, I did not pay attention to it.  Pink primrose took over early in the season nearly choking out the rest of the flowers.  Weeds and crabgrass threatened to take over.  There is no mulch to hold in the moisture.  There's been no fertilizer to feed the tender young plants.  I wasn't paying attention.

It's been much the same with my own energy.  I wasn't paying attention to the weeds of negative thought that were popping up.  I was distracted by pretty things, easy things.  Although I am practiced at a daily routine of self-care, there were certain parts of myself that I failed to nurture, and I was totally distracted by injuring my knee playing soccer.

See the similarities?  Now in July, I have started watering my flowerbed.  The pink primrose have been yanked out by the handfuls.  Each day I go out into the flowerbed to work for a few minutes to stay ahead of the weeds.  It's beginning to turn around.  It's beginning to look like the picture.

Every time I weed the flowerbed I say to myself, "I'm weeding the garden of my mind.  I'm weeding the garden of my heart."

Where is your core energy showing up in your life?  How has it appeared to remind you to pay attention?

* * *

Even the richest soil, if left uncultivated will produce the rankest weeds.  ~Leonardo da Vinci

* * *

First published July 2009.

This morning I applied Miracle Gro, Shake ‘n Feed to my flowering bushes.  The container for the fertilizer was straightforward - a large green plastic bottle with a spout.  After I removed the cap, I went out to the flower bed, opened the spout, and turned the bottle upside down.  Nothing happened.  Being a slow learner, I flipped the spout back and forth a couple of times and tried to shake the bottle again before I realized, “there must be an inner seal.”

As I was shaking fertilizer around the base of the hydrangea bushes (that I nearly killed from not paying attention), I started thinking about how the directions of the fertilizer were directions for personal development and spiritual growth.

• Remove the inner seal.
• Work into soil.
• Water.
• Reapply in three months.

So it is with spiritual growth and personal development.  All those superficial measures we make in saying affirmations, doing visualizations, and going to workshops will not nurture us until we remove the inner seal to our hearts and souls.   What is our inner seal?  It is the layers of feelings, thoughts, and actions of our defenses that seal us inside ourselves.  It forms a protective barrier within us and around us to protect the core beliefs we have about ourselves and the world around us.  To truly grow and bloom, first we must be willing to remove that inner seal.

Life experiences give us ample opportunity to open our inner seal.  Each painful experience or relationship that feels like it is breaking our hearts is really an invitation to open our hearts, examine ourselves, and to let go of the core beliefs that block our growth.  The key to the outcome of this process is our free will, our perception.  With each experience, we have the choice to either leave our hearts open or to add another layer of defenses to our inner seal.

Even if we do choose to remove the inner seal that blocks us from personal growth, we cannot take actions that are only skin deep.  When we do not diligently tend to the new seeds of thought planted by doing affirmations, reading self-help books, and attending workshops, there will be no lasting benefit.  All the positive energy we receive in those brief encounters is only temporary.  The directions for the fertilizer say, “work into soil, water, and reapply in three months.”  So too must new thoughts, feelings, actions be worked into the soil of our minds and hearts.  We must water them with daily attention and reapply them through persistent practice for sustainable growth.

For me, there is connectedness in all things.  I see spiritual growth and personal development in gardening.  What thoughts and feelings does this bring up for you?  Are you aware of the inner seal  that blocks you from having better relationships and living life on purpose? 

* *

There’s more room in a broken heart.  Carly Simon, Coming Around Again

People v. the State of Illusion is a docu-drama created by former attorney, Austin Vickers, who is now an executive leadership training expert.

The movie is set in a prison and asks the question, "Can people really change?" The drama centers around a person's perception of life and how it effects the events and relationships around him.

Some of my favorite people are also in the movie, Dr. Joe Dispenza and Dr. Candace Pert, who were both in my favorite movie, What the Bleep Do We Know, as well as Thomas Moore, author of the book, Care of the Soul.  The only reason I went to see the movie is because Dr. Joe Dispenza was doing a Q&A after the show. 

What I like about the movie is that it presents some well know concepts in the form of a story to which some people may be attracted.  It is saying the same message that What the Bleep said just with different words; simpler words - we are the creator of our reality.  Our perception shapes our attitudes and our attitudes effect our relationships, our jobs, our successes, our failure . . .

It's not a movie that I was attracted to seeing and my intuition was right.  I didn't like it.  Even though it has the same message that I try to drive home to my clients, it was too dark and cheesy for my taste.  Keep in mind that I'm the person who doesn't watch or listen to anything aggressive or violent.  At dinner after the movie, a friend was commenting that she felt physical anxiety during the film.  "Of course you did," I thought. "It was the energy of the movie."  Another friend loved it and saw it twice. 

So I'm not a good critic or judge of whether People v. the State of Illusion is good or not.  I recommended that some clients watch, What the Bleep, Down the Rabbit Hole, a movie that I love and still watch.  Half of those people didn't like it, most of them didn't understand it and half of them did - all for different reasons.

See!  It's all a matter of perception . . .

Warning - Don't read this book if all you want to do is stay the same.  Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Dr. Joe Dispenza reads like an owner's manual for your mind and how to change your life. In the first part of the book, Dr. Joe explains the science of how we become addicted to who we are.  He discusses how the environment, our bodies and time condition us into the personalities that we are and that those personalities create our personal reality.   He backs this up by teaching us how three parts of our brain, the neocortex, limbic brain and cerebellum all contribute to memories, knowledge and emotions.

Most importantly, Dr. Joe provides a step-by-step guide to break the bonds of being ourselves.

Dr. Joe like many other great thought leaders of today and yesterday insist that to transcend the mind and body that keep you stuck in career, in your relationships, in your life that you must spend some time tapping into a larger consciousness.  This is done through meditation.   A series of steps are outlined to allow the reader to begin to tap into the subconscious including induction, a progressive technique used in hypnotherapy that leads a person into a deeper state of relaxation.  By following these steps, the reader is able to release negative thinking, doing and being as well a create new ways of being, thinking and doing. 

It's interesting to note that many of the steps in the book, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, are similar to the steps of other recovery programs.  Dr. Joe even uses the term 'surrender':

You can't both surrender and try to control the outcome.  Surrender requires that you give up what you think you know from your limited mind, especially your belief about how this problem in your life should be taken care of.  To truly surrender is to let go of the ego's control; trust in an outcome that you haven't thought of yet; and allow this all-knowing, loving intelligence to take over and provide the best solution for you. 

Dr. Joe Dispenza, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself.

I need to write just a few words about diet soda.  Your massage therapist can tell when you drink a lot of it because your body feels like a hard, overblown balloon. 

I don't know what the reason for this is but an over load of salty junk food and an over load of diet soda make your muscles feel hard, not in shape, totally buff hard, but unhealthy hard.

There are other reasons not to drink diet soda - like it may cause cancer, it may cause weight gain, it may cause symptoms similar to MS . . .

Falling in Love with Malibu

While driving up the coast of California from Twentynine Palms to Seattle, I passed a sign that said, "Pepperdine University".  I left Highway 101, turned around and headed toward Pepperdine (largely motivated by my quest to meet Tom Shadyac.) 

Big green signs kept saying, "Malibu," but it didn't mean anything to me.  Yes, Malibu, we've all heard of it but I didn't have anything for Malibu to stick to in my brain.  Even so I kept driving toward Pepperdine.

After about three hours in the car, Dharma a bathroom break.  The road I was on dead ended into a park - Malibu Bluffs Park.  Still nothing spectacular.  I parked the car, grabbed the leash, the poo bag and Dharma before walking up into the park.  The sun was shining.  It was 72 degrees.  We reached the top of the rise and there it was . . . the Malibu coastline opened up to me with its breath taking beauty. 

My reaction was visceral.  Out loud I said, "Oh my god, I'm falling in love!" 

I stayed overnight in Malibu.  In less than 24 hours, I connected with people who were very welcoming.  I even sent out 4 or 5 resumes for jobs.  A day later I received a reply but unfortunately, I don't have my license in California - yet.

Astrocartography

Almost two months later I was on the phone with my friend, Jean Tracy.  We had been talking for some time when suddenly Jean interrupted:

"I have to tell you this right now before I forget.  I did an astrocartography map for you the other day.  Your Mars and Pluto lines intersect at Malibu.  It's a very powerful place for you; a good place for physical energy.  Mars energy is passion, strength, courage, independence, anger and aggression.  Mars was the god of war.  Pluto energy is about power, rebirth, death, transformation.  With this combination of personal will and collective power, you would be a potent agent for transformation and healing.  If you go there, you'll have to keep your vibration very high for at the lower vibration, it can attract physical violence or assault.

Your Pluto line travels up the west coast from Malibu and curves into Seattle.  There is a minor aspect of Sun and Venus that goes through San Francisco.  That's more about love and creativity.  With Pluto a prominent player in your chart, you're drawn to places along the line where its power is most potent."

The moment Jean said that my Mars and Pluto lines intersect at Malibu, a surge of energy washed down through my entire body like an electrical shock.  It's something that happens when I hear or experience Truth. What makes this so interesting to me is that Jean did the astrocartography reading for me after I had been to these places - Malibu, San Francisco, Seattle.  What's even more interesting is that I chose Seattle.  

Have you ever wondered where you belonged or why you feel more comfortable in some cities or states than others?  Why do you dream about going to a certain country? Are you being offered jobs in different locations?  What if you could know which location has the highest probability of success?  If you would like to find out, Jean Tracy can be reached at jtcharts@gmail.com for your astrocartography reading.

Jean Tracy is an intuitive astrologer and counselor in Seattle, WA.  She can be reached by phone at 425-941-3786 or email at jtcharts@gmail.com

Creating illness is a common theme among the clients who come to me.  It's often a creation of fibromyalgia, arthritis, rheumatoid arthritis or some other debilitating dis-ease created by the mind/body to allow them to check out of life.

Rather than listen to their own inner guidance system, they stay stuck in the belief that they must do what they are doing even if it's every fibers of their beings are screaming, "Get out!  This is not right for you!"

As women we're often taught to take care of others at the expense of taking care of ourselves.  We become martyrs failing to listen to that silent voice within us that says, "This isn't right.  This doesn't feel good for me. This is sapping my energy."

A client came to me with a diagnosis of fibromyalgia.  She recanted her life.  She was divorced.  She had previously had a high profile job as an executive in a non-profit organization, creating programs to help the mentally ill.  As the position grew so did her perceived responsibilities born out of fear that she had to control the situation.  Rather than asking for help or saying "no" occasionally, she continued to work harder and longer.  Her career took control of her.  Gradually, her body began giving her signals - headaches, insomnia, digestive disorders, tense neck and shoulders - all of which she ignored until her body finally screamed at her and she was given the diagnosis of fibromyalgia.

I listened intently to her story.  I noticed she enjoyed telling it.  Her story wrapped around her like a cocoon, keeping her safe from engaging in life at its fullest.  Tentatively I offered a new possibility - maybe she could change her mind and heal her body.

As I suspected, this client was not interested in getting better.  She was comfortable in her pain and her diagnosis.
 
What's your body telling you?

Photo courtesy of Illuminator999 on Flickr.com.

---

Did you like this topic? Let us know what you think by leaving a comment or Suggest a Topic.

In 2005, the movie, The Secret, introduced everyone to the Law of Attraction in a very big way.  When I first saw The Secret, I laughed out loud.  Rhonda Byrne had packaged age old spiritual/energetic principles in an entertaining and attractive package.  But why hasn't the Law of Attraction worked for everyone?  More importantly, if you're using the affirmations, creating your vision board, and trying to create your life, why isn't it working for you?

A few moments of positive daily affirmations will not work when the core message we  send out into the Universe is filled with negativity and contradiction.  The deep inner changes needed to create the life we desire don't happen as a result of carefully applying make-up.  They must come from a place deeper within us.

Joe Nunziata in his book Spiritual Selling begins addressing the blocks we have to abundance and prosperity at a deeper level.  Joe correlates chakra healing with creating the life you want.  Louise Hay in her book, You Can Heal Your Life, gives wonderful suggestions about how to uncover and heal the old thought patterns that block your success.

In my experience, the message of attraction that we send out into the Universe comes from a place so deep within that we may be totally unaware of it.  Most, if not all, of my beliefs came from my adopted mother.  She was born in 1911.  She lived through the depression and lived with depression all of her life from unresolved issues related to being raised by an alcoholic father.  Her beliefs about money were passed on to me at a very young age and became embedded in my subconscious.

What did I learn about money as a child:

• It's easier for a camel to enter the eye of the needle than a rich man to get into heaven.  (Rich people don't get into heaven).
• Rich people are fake.
• The pursuit of money is a sin.
• Money doesn't grow on trees.
• We're poor but good.
• Poverty equals humility.

It wasn't until I was well into my forties that those beliefs radically changed!

By my early forties, I had been introduced to Louise Hay and the Law of Attraction.  Still my financial situation wasn't changing.  I had lived all my life struggling financially.  Every time I accumulated a little money, it would disappear as fast as it came.  When I was single mom raising three children on a shoe-string budget, I received $25.00 in the mail from an anonymous friend.  That very same day, I received notice that my checking account was overdrawn and it took exactly $25.00 to correct the error.  Why?  Because I didn't believe I deserved it.  Money always scared me so badly that I could never receive it!

The radical change came years later after I had been searching spiritually for a number of years and was attending a group of like-minded people on a regular basis.  At every meeting an older member named Jake would lower his voice and softly make a comment reflecting wisdom and spirituality.  After one particular meeting of this group, a young man commented that Jake was such a humble person.  Jake lived in a simple apartment on an alley.  He made a living in a dry cleaning store, making a low salary.

I knew Jake on a more personal level than the young man.  I knew that Jake's financial situation was a consequence of his past.  I had witnessed Jake's humble behavior evaporate when he verbally attacked other people.  At that moment my core belief changed:  poverty did not equal humility!

As a result of this radical change in my core belief system, my financial situation changed.  Within three months I was recruited for a position that increased my income by thirty percent.  For the first time in my life, I had enough money to not only pay my bills but to have cable TV, a cell phone, and buy new couch.  But it wasn't the material benefits that were my true prosperity.  It was freedom from the fear.

Since then I have worked with someone who had a great deal of wealth.  Karen had a great job that paid well.  Even with the recession, she retained a large part of her retirement.  Her spouse, children, grandchildren and friends adored her.  She lived in the home of her dreams.  Even so Karen was plagued by worry and fear of not having enough money.  In spite of watching The Secret, doing affirmations, using Emotional Freedom Technique, and a variety of other methods, Karen became deeply depressed.  The facts of her situation were hidden by her fear of the future.   She could not allow all that she wanted into her life. 

For years Karen would say, "I keep thinking there is something I should be doing."  But she didn't do anything except worry and blame her spouse. 

Karen's worry eventually manifested.  The only action she took was return to self-medicating.  Her spouse left her.  Their home was foreclosed.  She filed bankruptcy.  Even today when discussing the situation with her, Karen's biggest concern is her credit rating.

There is a solution.

You can unearth the core beliefs that keep you from attracting prosperity in all areas of your life.  The first place to start is taking a look at what you learned from your family.

• What is wealth to you?
• What cliche's about money, work, happiness did you absorb from your parents?
• What is your default, zero or thousands, even millions?
• Do you struggle because of a lack of self worth?
• What is the theme of the running commentary in your mind on a daily basis:  not enough or plenty for everyone?
• Where do you physically feel financial fear?  In your gut?  In your head?  On the tops of your shoulders?
• Are you wealthy in other ways?

Once your core beliefs about money and prosperity are unearthed, you can begin to release them.  Releasing these beliefs means being willing to change and doing the work by letting go of the belief at a deeper level of consciousness, practicing gratitude consistently, saying affirmations persistently, and surrounding yourself with loving support of like-minded people.

Photo courtesy of 401K on Flickr.com, Creative Commons License

"I want you to choose one thought," I say to my client after guiding her into a pattern of breathing that focuses her attention. "I want you to think over and over again in your mind - 'I'm relaxing my mind.  I'm relaxing my body.'"

After a dozen massages in the beginning of my journey as a therapist, it became apparent that if a person does not relax their mind, the effects of the massage would only be temporary.  I can mechanically massage the knot out of your shoulders but if you don't release the mindset that creates it, you'll just have to keep returning for regular massage.  That's okay with me.  I look at it as job security. 

But if you can relax beyond your physical body, beyond the tension in your mind, you can have a deeper healing.

It's not instant pudding though - just pour milk and stir.  It takes time and practice.  I believe it takes about four weeks which is why I offer a Neck, Back & Shoulder package.  For 30 minutes once a week for 3 weeks, we work together to physically relax your muscles while you practice breath work and focused thought to relax your mind.  Then we do it for an hour just to relax the rest of you.

Wouldn't you like to feel better today?