Originally published July 2009.

In the book,  Relationships & the Law of Attraction, by Abraham-Hicks publications, it said, “ We attract relationships that cause us pain because we need to affirm our core beliefs about ourselves and we attract the relationships we need to help us grow.”  But what does it mean when we experience pain in a seemingly healthy, loving relationship?  It is within that relationship where we are safe and unconditionally loved that we often experience the most pain as we try to re-enact an old pattern, heal a deeper wound, and begin to mature emotionally.  That relationship becomes the greenhouse that allows our soul to bloom.

It’s safe to be alone and work on ourselves.  We can totally focus on our own personal development and self-growth.  We might feel intermittent loneliness but any deep underlying insecurities may not arise.  Any defenses and old patterns of behavior go into remission because we aren’t triggered by another person.  

 If we do grow, chances are that we will become very attractive.  There’s nothing more attractive than a woman who exudes self-confidence, well-being, and a beauty that can only come from within.  If we’ve progressed very far, we’ll attract a safer, more loving relationship than the last one.  

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.  ~Marcel Proust

Photo courtesy of Olga from Flickr.com

The truth of what is going on inside of us at the core vibrational level always manifests in the physical world.  If we are holding onto grief, we may develop a respiratory infection in our lungs.  If we're refusing to be open-minded, we may develop a stiff neck.  If we have cluttered minds and spiritual closets, we may alo have cluttered homes, offices, or cars.  Our spiritual truth will show up somewhere in our lives.
 

This year my truth showed up in my flower garden.  The photo to the right is how the flower bed is supposed to look.  The truth is that this year, I did not pay attention to it.  Pink primrose took over early in the season nearly choking out the rest of the flowers.  Weeds and crabgrass threatened to take over.  There is no mulch to hold in the moisture.  There's been no fertilizer to feed the tender young plants.  I wasn't paying attention.

It's been much the same with my own energy.  I wasn't paying attention to the weeds of negative thought that were popping up.  I was distracted by pretty things, easy things.  Although I am practiced at a daily routine of self-care, there were certain parts of myself that I failed to nurture, and I was totally distracted by injuring my knee playing soccer.

See the similarities?  Now in July, I have started watering my flowerbed.  The pink primrose have been yanked out by the handfuls.  Each day I go out into the flowerbed to work for a few minutes to stay ahead of the weeds.  It's beginning to turn around.  It's beginning to look like the picture.

Every time I weed the flowerbed I say to myself, "I'm weeding the garden of my mind.  I'm weeding the garden of my heart."

Where is your core energy showing up in your life?  How has it appeared to remind you to pay attention?

* * *

Even the richest soil, if left uncultivated will produce the rankest weeds.  ~Leonardo da Vinci

* * *

First published July 2009.

This morning I applied Miracle Gro, Shake ‘n Feed to my flowering bushes.  The container for the fertilizer was straightforward - a large green plastic bottle with a spout.  After I removed the cap, I went out to the flower bed, opened the spout, and turned the bottle upside down.  Nothing happened.  Being a slow learner, I flipped the spout back and forth a couple of times and tried to shake the bottle again before I realized, “there must be an inner seal.”

As I was shaking fertilizer around the base of the hydrangea bushes (that I nearly killed from not paying attention), I started thinking about how the directions of the fertilizer were directions for personal development and spiritual growth.

• Remove the inner seal.
• Work into soil.
• Water.
• Reapply in three months.

So it is with spiritual growth and personal development.  All those superficial measures we make in saying affirmations, doing visualizations, and going to workshops will not nurture us until we remove the inner seal to our hearts and souls.   What is our inner seal?  It is the layers of feelings, thoughts, and actions of our defenses that seal us inside ourselves.  It forms a protective barrier within us and around us to protect the core beliefs we have about ourselves and the world around us.  To truly grow and bloom, first we must be willing to remove that inner seal.

Life experiences give us ample opportunity to open our inner seal.  Each painful experience or relationship that feels like it is breaking our hearts is really an invitation to open our hearts, examine ourselves, and to let go of the core beliefs that block our growth.  The key to the outcome of this process is our free will, our perception.  With each experience, we have the choice to either leave our hearts open or to add another layer of defenses to our inner seal.

Even if we do choose to remove the inner seal that blocks us from personal growth, we cannot take actions that are only skin deep.  When we do not diligently tend to the new seeds of thought planted by doing affirmations, reading self-help books, and attending workshops, there will be no lasting benefit.  All the positive energy we receive in those brief encounters is only temporary.  The directions for the fertilizer say, “work into soil, water, and reapply in three months.”  So too must new thoughts, feelings, actions be worked into the soil of our minds and hearts.  We must water them with daily attention and reapply them through persistent practice for sustainable growth.

For me, there is connectedness in all things.  I see spiritual growth and personal development in gardening.  What thoughts and feelings does this bring up for you?  Are you aware of the inner seal  that blocks you from having better relationships and living life on purpose? 

* *

There’s more room in a broken heart.  Carly Simon, Coming Around Again

Have you ever felt lost?  Alone and confused?  Not knowing what your next step should be?  We all have those moments of despair - even me.

In the moments of my deepest longing and despair, I am not shy about asking for miracles and more importantly expecting to receive them.  Miracles may seem like a lofty request, but they're not.  They happen when we get out of our heads and into a space of awareness to receive them.

My miracles aren't burning bushes or the parting of deep seas.  My miracles are subtle signs, messages, chance encounters, an intuitive thought, or a change in perception that allows me to reframe my perspective.

I've been asking for miracles lately. Today they appeared.

The first miracle was a message in one of the meditation books I read each morning:  "We can believe that nothing is impossible in human relationships, if we depend on the help of [the Universe]." 

The second miracle was in the Buckeye Honda women's restroom.  I washed my hands and turned around to open the door.  There on the back of the door was a coat hook in the shape of a dragonfly.  Yes, a dragonfly!  Those who know me well and who have known me long also know that dragonflies are big magic in my life.  Every time they appear in any form, the energy will shift around me and change will take place. 

The weekend before I went out with my husband for the first time, I sat down at a table where very single one of the women sitting there had a dragonfly motif somewhere on her clothing, purse, jacket . . .  I silently said to the Universe, "Bring it."

Today I stared at the dragonfly hook on the back of the restroom door and said, "Okay."

What signs have you received lately?  Have you asked for miracles? 


Photo by Kretyen on Flickr.com

Before there was the hit movie, The Secret; before the Law of Attraction, before Anthony Robbins; yes, even before there was Oprah - there was Emmet Fox (1886-1951)!

Did you really think Anthony Robbins came up with the Seven Day Mental Diet or that the Law of Attraction was new?  Rhonda Byrnes said it right in The Secret: these universal laws have been taught down through the ages.  She had it wrong when she said it was a secret.  There is no secret!  Most of the great spiritual teachings down through the ages have talked about it.  The only problem is that the message kept being warped by the manipulation of humanity until it was almost unrecognizable.  The other problem is that even though the message is there for all of us, all of the time - we only can hear it when we're ready.  Are you ready now to change your life by changing your mind?


Emmet Fox talked about the Seven Day Mental Diet before most of us (yes, me included) were born!  For the next seven days, the free Cosmic Postcard sent out by Enigma Wellness is going to go through the Seven Day Mental Diet as first presented by Emmet Fox with new thoughts and practices from Enigma Wellness.

Again, are you ready now?  If so, sign up for the Cosmic Postcard in the upper right side-bar of this page and starting tomorrow, you'll receive a daily email with the Seven Day Mental Diet

Have you ever felt despair over conflict in a relationship?  Fear of the unknown?  Regret over the past?

The best life coaching I ever received when I felt despair was to "ask for wisdom and a new opportunity to be of service."  That is my request most days.  Yesterday the answer was to spill an entire 12 oz. travel mug of warm tea on myself while I was driving!

I was driving a girlfriend to a cemetery about an hour and a half south of my hometown.  It was a healing journey for my friend to mourn the life of a family member who had died shortly after birth.  The car was heavy with emotion.

Our directions were for the cemetery office, not the cemetery itself.  As I turned the car around for the second time after searching down the wrong street, I reached for my travel mug in the cup holder by the driver's seat.  When I lifted the cup, the top came off.  The entire contents dumped into my lap!  After my initial startled reaction, I thought, "Huh, I wonder why that happened?"

My girlfriend was horrified as I sat there soaked to the skin.  Her inward focus turned on me as she started fussing.  "We have to find you some dry pants before we go to the grave site," she insisted.

The lukewarm tea was quickly turning into ice cold blue jeans so I agreed.  I turned the car around yet another time and headed toward a strip mall that I noticed as we entered the city.  At the strip mall, we cruised through the parking lot looking for a clothing store.  The only option was a thrift store. 

Thrift stores have a huge selection of jeans grouped by color. My mission was to find a pair that was relatively close to a 4 petite, which is a hard size to find.  After trying on three different pairs of jeans, I found a pair that fit me perfectly. 

My friend met me at the check-out counter.  She had a small wooden rocking horse, a tricycle sculpture, and a candle.  Little did I know how important those items were to her.

When we settled back into the car, my friend turned to me and said, "Months ago after I found this grave site, I began dreaming about placing a rocking horse and tricycle on this baby's grave.  It totally slipped my mind.  I didn't think about it until I saw the rocking horse in the thrift store.  It's the same rocking horse that was in my dream.  If you hadn't spilled that tea in our lap, we wouldn't be here."

I smiled at her and hugged her across the console.

If you're feeling negativity this holiday season, one of the quickest methods out of it is to "ask for wisdom and a new opportunity to serve."  Have you helped someone today?

There's a certain smell to the Pacific Northwest that's totally different than Ohio.  It's the scent of pine, rotting leaves, ferns, and wet forest floor. 

This morning I struck out on my own to explore a nearby hiking path.  I started up the path with iPhone earbuds in my ears listening to Viktor Frankl's, Man Search for Meaning, until I realized what I was doing.

I was walking through one of the most beautiful forests in Washington State with my mind somewhere else!

The earbuds came out of my ears.  The iPhone was zipped safely in my pocket.  For a moment I stood in the forest listening, being present to the smell, the feel, and the sight of where my feet were; the beauty of the moment.

The rest of the hike was spent in silence in walking meditation.  If thoughts threatened to invade my mind, relentless worms, I focused on the next foot step or my breathing or counting.  There was no fleeting happiness; only a deep unshakeable peace.

How could you find peace today?  Where and when could you turn off the noise around you and within you?

Have you ever received a Cosmic Postcard, a message from the Universe from a source totally unrelated to whatever issue you were working on?  I received a Cosmic Postcard from Mari Smith on Facebook the other day when she quoted Kevin Nations as saying, "Winners take imperfect actions."

A few days ago, I gave a presentation about the basics of Twitter to the CREW, Commercial  Real Estate Women.  Later the mistakes I made were pointed out to me.

On the back of the brochure for Enigma Wellness, my first name was spelled wrong and on a slide that referenced the book, Outliers, I had Malcolm Gladwell's name wrong.  For some reason, I had put Malcolm McDowell.  Two mistakes!  That's not to mention that I had to borrow someone else's laptop to even do the presentation because the AV output cord wouldn't fit my MacBook.

Yes, I was embarrassed.  How can you spell your own name wrong?  But I wasn't embarrassed for long.  Why?  Because I am learning.  At the end of the day I knew that I needed to purchase two pieces of equipment, an adapter and an internet card, to effectively use my MacBook for presentations.  I went back to my material to correct my name and Malcolm Gladwell's name.  I thanked the person who pointed out my mistakes and encouraged her to always correct me because it would help the group and let it go.

Then the video by Mari Smith popped up on my newsfeed in Facebook.  Mistakes or not, I knew that I was in alignment; that I am a winner with imperfect actions.

How do you handle your mistakes?  How long do you wallow in self-deprecation?  How does the fear of making mistakes trap you into not following your dreams?

---

Let us know what you think by leaving a comment.

Your life is right now! It's not later! It's not in that time of retirement. It's not when the lover gets here. It's not when you've moved into the new house. It's not when you get the better job. Your life is right now. It will always be right now. You might as well decide to start enjoying your life right now, because it's not ever going to get better than right now--until it gets better right now!

--- Abraham

 

This is a little interlude in the Boss Series to share some the simple principle that nothing is lost in the Universe.  How many times have you lost your car keys, a necklace, or something else; launched into a frantic search and never found it?  Would you believe it's the "frantic" part of the search that keeps things lost? 

During a discussion with my friend, Loren Greiff, of NorthshoreInsider.com, she mentioned that she lost her camera.  She retraced her memory path but couldn't find it so she bought a new camera.

I shared with Loren that "nothing is lost in the Universe"*.  Just because we can't see it doesn't mean it's lost.  Then I told Loren a story.  Years ago when I was attending Columbus State Community College for massage therapy, I lost my wallet.  After retracing my memory path, the last time I remembered seeing it was in the back parking lot of the college.  Immediately, I started thinking, "nothing is lost in the Universe.  Nothing is lost in the Universe!"  Then let it go.  The next morning I parked in my usual spot.  No wallet was to be found.  The next logical step was to go to the lost & found department.  While I was standing in line at student services to ask about my wallet, my cell phone rang.  They were calling me to say they had my wallet.  It was returned with everything in it - even the money. 

Back to Loren.  Here's the thread from FaceBook:

Later I received a message that said that another friend of Loren's friends found something important to him.

If you pick up on this thought, NOTHING IS LOST IN THE UNIVERSE, and something amazing happens for you, please leave a comment and tell us your story.

*A lot of people may want to take credit for this affirmation.  I can't.  I can't even remember if I first learned it from Louise Hay, What the Bleep, Emmett Fox, religious upbringing, Carl Jung or in a chemistry class when I learned that energy can neither be created nor destroyed.

Photo courtesy of Higgett, Flickr.com

Today I ran into a friend who recently retired at an early age after 28 years of government service.  He talked about part-time jobs that he had tried; what worked and what didn't.  

"It sound to me like you're bored,"  I said.

He nodded his head in agreement and added that the extra money would be nice to have.

"What would you do if you could do anything, ideally?" I asked.

Without hesitation my friend answered, "Wood working."

"Have you done any work with wood before?"

"Yes," he answered, the energy rising in his voice.  "I have all the equipment and a shop.  Someone even asked me to make a coffee table and end table but I made a mistake."  His voice began to lose energy.  "I placed the router in the wrong place.  It put a gouge in the wood that I filled in with sawdust and wood glue, but they didn't want the coffee table any more.  I haven't been out to my shop for a long time."

"You've stopped because you made a mistake?"  I asked.

"I know.  I know."  He said.

The meeting we were sitting in began and the conversation ended.  After the meeting he probably avoided me just like he was avoiding making another mistake on the way to realizing his dream.

That conversation made me think.  Made me look at myself.

How many times have I not followed a desire or a dream because I made a mistake along the way?  When did that change for me?  When did it become okay for me to make mistakes because I understood that life is all about the practice? What excuses do I use now not to follow my dreams or to succeed in using my gifts?

Our children are the seedlings of our life.  The question is - how do we encourage them to grow?  What do we expose them to without our awareness?  Is our influence confined to what we say to them or is it what we say around them, how we act around them, and the vibration of our own energy?

How many times have we, as parents, had discussions filled with conflict, fear, judgment, or criticism around infants and toddlers as if those tender young seedlings weren't even in the room?  Even if those small children cannot understand the meaning our words, they absorb the meaning of our feelings.  How many times have we told our children to do something that we ourselves do not do?  Remember the old cliche, "Do as I say, not as I do?"

Children understand double standards.  They often ignore our words.  They watch our actions and absorb our energy.

When small children are in the room while we verbally judge and criticize someone, our children learn judgment and criticism.  If we indulge in negativity, we teach our children about negativity.  If we are perfectionists and harshly criticize ourselves, our children absorb perfectionism.

When talk about our children in their presence, they absorb the labels, key phrases, and tags that we give them.  "He's such a good boy."  "He's a picky eater."  "He's doesn't try."  Without knowing it, we seed the soul of our children's minds and hearts with weeds.

How then can we better parents?

Awareness.  When we become aware of the weeds in our own minds and hearts and develop processes to outgrow them, our children absorb those processes too.  They watch us growing.  They feel us growing.

Photos from Flickr.com courtesy of Tico.

How do you know when you're in alignment?  If you're on the right path?  When you are, everything just seems to fall into place.  You're heart knows and the Universe smiles on you.

Lori Massey is a sign of my alignment.  A few weeks ago she was surfing the internet and found Cedar Hill Massage.  She was particularly interested in life coaching.  Yesterday I drove an hour and half to Jackson, Ohio to meet Lori at her store, The Tea Caddy of Jackson, 740-288-4832.  

The first thing you see at the front door of the Tea Caddy is MAGIC.  A small wren chose to build her nest in an artificial wreath and blessed the entrance with two baby birds. That's just the beginning of the magic of the Tea Caddy!  Go through the door and you enter a sacred space filled with Victorian teapots, tea cozies, and special teas.  The atmosphere inside is infused with Lori's welcoming and infectious energy.

Lori is doing some exciting things in Jackson.  Beginning July 25, 2009, from 10:00 a.m. - 12:00 p.m., she's introducing a LIVE morning talk show called "The Hub", Your Connection to Mind, Body & Spirit.  The Hub offers inspirational speakers, health & wellness advisors, and more.  You can call Lori at the Tea Caddy at 740-288-4832.

Lori is a connector.  She reaches out, finds out what people need, what their heart's desire is and connects them with ther people to help them on their way.  And, she's been joined by Carla Wamsley, of Sitting Pretty, an affiliate of Tope's Furniture Gallery of Gallipolis,Ohio.  Carla is a salesperson and has added that spark of fire to Lori's gift for connecting people.   Guess what I am?

I only meant to stay an hour at the Tea Caddy but ended up staying the whole afternoon.  We laughed, talked, and shared our ideas for following our dreams and how to help other people do the same.  We brainstormed about my giving a group coaching workshop at the Tea Caddy in September.  Lori introduced me to someone I may be able to help. 

Everything came together yesterday afternoon.  Perfect alignment.