The Courage to Change
After a long period of disharmony and sleepless nights, I heard a small voice in my mind say, "Pixie, what would you say to a client? What would you do if you weren't afraid
My truth was, "I would go
As my heart was breaking on the 3rd day of traveling, I received this message from Tut - Notes from the Universe
"Thanks, Pixie, for every single time you've fallen in love. Whether or not it was obvious. Whether or not it lasted. And, whether or not you were loved back. It changed everything."
So here I am over 2000 miles from the farm that I loved, friends, family, . . . Dharma and I arrived last night. Last night was the first time I've slept more than 4 hours in months. Within 24 hours of being on the road, my neck, back & shoulders stopped hurting.
My husband & I are friendlier to each other now that we're apart. Yesterday I meditated on what I could do to be unconditionally loving in this situation. By the end of the day, the voice said "The most loving thing you can do for you and for him is to let go absolutely."
When I stay focused and don't make up stories, assess blame, and find freedom from judgment & criticism, my truth is that I want to be here in Washington State. Maybe all the events from the moment that became my intention to now were synchronistic leading to this manifestation. Viewing everything from that perspective, there is no blame.
Last night after we arrived, Dharma was introduced to her new friends. She loves Michele and warmed up to Jim quickly after he allowed her to lick his plate. Michele's cat, Tasha, isn't too crazy about Dharma but we're hopeful that she'll adapt.
Living in Accordance with Dharma
Jim did the loveliest thing. He looked up the meaning of Dharma and found this on Wikipedia:
". . . an Indian spiritual and religious term that means one's righteous duty, or any virtuous path. A Hindu's dharma is affected by a person's age, class, occupation, and gender. In Indian languages it can be equivalent simply to religion, depending on context. The word dharma translates as that which upholds or supports, and is generally translated into English as law. . . . beings that live in accordance with Dharma proceed more quickly toward . . . nirvana . . . "
We all laughed and went on a riff about how we all had to live in accordance with Dharma by giving her scraps, playing with her, letting her lick the plate so we would reach nirvana quickly.
Dharma & I went outside and reviewed the boundaries of her yard and took photos to share this experience with you. She played along the beach in front of the house and explored the dock. We played tag joyfully. For a moment, I stopped to bend down and hug her neck. Tears welled up in my eyes as my heart swelled with a mixture of joy and sadness.
Dharma is at home wherever I am. I am at home in the Universe.