Falling in Love with Malibu

While driving up the coast of California from Twentynine Palms to Seattle, I passed a sign that said, "Pepperdine University".  I left Highway 101, turned around and headed toward Pepperdine (largely motivated by my quest to meet Tom Shadyac.) 

Big green signs kept saying, "Malibu," but it didn't mean anything to me.  Yes, Malibu, we've all heard of it but I didn't have anything for Malibu to stick to in my brain.  Even so I kept driving toward Pepperdine.

After about three hours in the car, Dharma a bathroom break.  The road I was on dead ended into a park - Malibu Bluffs Park.  Still nothing spectacular.  I parked the car, grabbed the leash, the poo bag and Dharma before walking up into the park.  The sun was shining.  It was 72 degrees.  We reached the top of the rise and there it was . . . the Malibu coastline opened up to me with its breath taking beauty. 

My reaction was visceral.  Out loud I said, "Oh my god, I'm falling in love!" 

I stayed overnight in Malibu.  In less than 24 hours, I connected with people who were very welcoming.  I even sent out 4 or 5 resumes for jobs.  A day later I received a reply but unfortunately, I don't have my license in California - yet.

Astrocartography

Almost two months later I was on the phone with my friend, Jean Tracy.  We had been talking for some time when suddenly Jean interrupted:

"I have to tell you this right now before I forget.  I did an astrocartography map for you the other day.  Your Mars and Pluto lines intersect at Malibu.  It's a very powerful place for you; a good place for physical energy.  Mars energy is passion, strength, courage, independence, anger and aggression.  Mars was the god of war.  Pluto energy is about power, rebirth, death, transformation.  With this combination of personal will and collective power, you would be a potent agent for transformation and healing.  If you go there, you'll have to keep your vibration very high for at the lower vibration, it can attract physical violence or assault.

Your Pluto line travels up the west coast from Malibu and curves into Seattle.  There is a minor aspect of Sun and Venus that goes through San Francisco.  That's more about love and creativity.  With Pluto a prominent player in your chart, you're drawn to places along the line where its power is most potent."

The moment Jean said that my Mars and Pluto lines intersect at Malibu, a surge of energy washed down through my entire body like an electrical shock.  It's something that happens when I hear or experience Truth. What makes this so interesting to me is that Jean did the astrocartography reading for me after I had been to these places - Malibu, San Francisco, Seattle.  What's even more interesting is that I chose Seattle.  

Have you ever wondered where you belonged or why you feel more comfortable in some cities or states than others?  Why do you dream about going to a certain country? Are you being offered jobs in different locations?  What if you could know which location has the highest probability of success?  If you would like to find out, Jean Tracy can be reached at jtcharts@gmail.com for your astrocartography reading.

Jean Tracy is an intuitive astrologer and counselor in Seattle, WA.  She can be reached by phone at 425-941-3786 or email at jtcharts@gmail.com

Creating illness is a common theme among the clients who come to me.  It's often a creation of fibromyalgia, arthritis, rheumatoid arthritis or some other debilitating dis-ease created by the mind/body to allow them to check out of life.

Rather than listen to their own inner guidance system, they stay stuck in the belief that they must do what they are doing even if it's every fibers of their beings are screaming, "Get out!  This is not right for you!"

As women we're often taught to take care of others at the expense of taking care of ourselves.  We become martyrs failing to listen to that silent voice within us that says, "This isn't right.  This doesn't feel good for me. This is sapping my energy."

A client came to me with a diagnosis of fibromyalgia.  She recanted her life.  She was divorced.  She had previously had a high profile job as an executive in a non-profit organization, creating programs to help the mentally ill.  As the position grew so did her perceived responsibilities born out of fear that she had to control the situation.  Rather than asking for help or saying "no" occasionally, she continued to work harder and longer.  Her career took control of her.  Gradually, her body began giving her signals - headaches, insomnia, digestive disorders, tense neck and shoulders - all of which she ignored until her body finally screamed at her and she was given the diagnosis of fibromyalgia.

I listened intently to her story.  I noticed she enjoyed telling it.  Her story wrapped around her like a cocoon, keeping her safe from engaging in life at its fullest.  Tentatively I offered a new possibility - maybe she could change her mind and heal her body.

As I suspected, this client was not interested in getting better.  She was comfortable in her pain and her diagnosis.
 
What's your body telling you?

Photo courtesy of Illuminator999 on Flickr.com.

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In 2005, the movie, The Secret, introduced everyone to the Law of Attraction in a very big way.  When I first saw The Secret, I laughed out loud.  Rhonda Byrne had packaged age old spiritual/energetic principles in an entertaining and attractive package.  But why hasn't the Law of Attraction worked for everyone?  More importantly, if you're using the affirmations, creating your vision board, and trying to create your life, why isn't it working for you?

A few moments of positive daily affirmations will not work when the core message we  send out into the Universe is filled with negativity and contradiction.  The deep inner changes needed to create the life we desire don't happen as a result of carefully applying make-up.  They must come from a place deeper within us.

Joe Nunziata in his book Spiritual Selling begins addressing the blocks we have to abundance and prosperity at a deeper level.  Joe correlates chakra healing with creating the life you want.  Louise Hay in her book, You Can Heal Your Life, gives wonderful suggestions about how to uncover and heal the old thought patterns that block your success.

In my experience, the message of attraction that we send out into the Universe comes from a place so deep within that we may be totally unaware of it.  Most, if not all, of my beliefs came from my adopted mother.  She was born in 1911.  She lived through the depression and lived with depression all of her life from unresolved issues related to being raised by an alcoholic father.  Her beliefs about money were passed on to me at a very young age and became embedded in my subconscious.

What did I learn about money as a child:

• It's easier for a camel to enter the eye of the needle than a rich man to get into heaven.  (Rich people don't get into heaven).
• Rich people are fake.
• The pursuit of money is a sin.
• Money doesn't grow on trees.
• We're poor but good.
• Poverty equals humility.

It wasn't until I was well into my forties that those beliefs radically changed!

By my early forties, I had been introduced to Louise Hay and the Law of Attraction.  Still my financial situation wasn't changing.  I had lived all my life struggling financially.  Every time I accumulated a little money, it would disappear as fast as it came.  When I was single mom raising three children on a shoe-string budget, I received $25.00 in the mail from an anonymous friend.  That very same day, I received notice that my checking account was overdrawn and it took exactly $25.00 to correct the error.  Why?  Because I didn't believe I deserved it.  Money always scared me so badly that I could never receive it!

The radical change came years later after I had been searching spiritually for a number of years and was attending a group of like-minded people on a regular basis.  At every meeting an older member named Jake would lower his voice and softly make a comment reflecting wisdom and spirituality.  After one particular meeting of this group, a young man commented that Jake was such a humble person.  Jake lived in a simple apartment on an alley.  He made a living in a dry cleaning store, making a low salary.

I knew Jake on a more personal level than the young man.  I knew that Jake's financial situation was a consequence of his past.  I had witnessed Jake's humble behavior evaporate when he verbally attacked other people.  At that moment my core belief changed:  poverty did not equal humility!

As a result of this radical change in my core belief system, my financial situation changed.  Within three months I was recruited for a position that increased my income by thirty percent.  For the first time in my life, I had enough money to not only pay my bills but to have cable TV, a cell phone, and buy new couch.  But it wasn't the material benefits that were my true prosperity.  It was freedom from the fear.

Since then I have worked with someone who had a great deal of wealth.  Karen had a great job that paid well.  Even with the recession, she retained a large part of her retirement.  Her spouse, children, grandchildren and friends adored her.  She lived in the home of her dreams.  Even so Karen was plagued by worry and fear of not having enough money.  In spite of watching The Secret, doing affirmations, using Emotional Freedom Technique, and a variety of other methods, Karen became deeply depressed.  The facts of her situation were hidden by her fear of the future.   She could not allow all that she wanted into her life. 

For years Karen would say, "I keep thinking there is something I should be doing."  But she didn't do anything except worry and blame her spouse. 

Karen's worry eventually manifested.  The only action she took was return to self-medicating.  Her spouse left her.  Their home was foreclosed.  She filed bankruptcy.  Even today when discussing the situation with her, Karen's biggest concern is her credit rating.

There is a solution.

You can unearth the core beliefs that keep you from attracting prosperity in all areas of your life.  The first place to start is taking a look at what you learned from your family.

• What is wealth to you?
• What cliche's about money, work, happiness did you absorb from your parents?
• What is your default, zero or thousands, even millions?
• Do you struggle because of a lack of self worth?
• What is the theme of the running commentary in your mind on a daily basis:  not enough or plenty for everyone?
• Where do you physically feel financial fear?  In your gut?  In your head?  On the tops of your shoulders?
• Are you wealthy in other ways?

Once your core beliefs about money and prosperity are unearthed, you can begin to release them.  Releasing these beliefs means being willing to change and doing the work by letting go of the belief at a deeper level of consciousness, practicing gratitude consistently, saying affirmations persistently, and surrounding yourself with loving support of like-minded people.

Photo courtesy of 401K on Flickr.com, Creative Commons License

"I want you to choose one thought," I say to my client after guiding her into a pattern of breathing that focuses her attention. "I want you to think over and over again in your mind - 'I'm relaxing my mind.  I'm relaxing my body.'"

After a dozen massages in the beginning of my journey as a therapist, it became apparent that if a person does not relax their mind, the effects of the massage would only be temporary.  I can mechanically massage the knot out of your shoulders but if you don't release the mindset that creates it, you'll just have to keep returning for regular massage.  That's okay with me.  I look at it as job security. 

But if you can relax beyond your physical body, beyond the tension in your mind, you can have a deeper healing.

It's not instant pudding though - just pour milk and stir.  It takes time and practice.  I believe it takes about four weeks which is why I offer a Neck, Back & Shoulder package.  For 30 minutes once a week for 3 weeks, we work together to physically relax your muscles while you practice breath work and focused thought to relax your mind.  Then we do it for an hour just to relax the rest of you.

Wouldn't you like to feel better today?

A few days ago I started blessing the bacon, blessing the people who would eat it, and blessing the day ahead.




Blessing the road.
Blessing the guard at the gate.
Blessing the Marine Corps Air Ground Control Center.
Blessing the building.
Blessing the food court.
Blessing the employees.
Blessing the customers.
Blessing . . .

I don't know if it made a difference for anyone or anything else. 

It made a difference in me.

In 1976 my very first job was cooking hamburgers at McDonald's on Lakewood Blvd. in Lakewood, California.  It was the beginning of a career in the restaurant industry that spanned almost a decade.  That was followed by almost twenty years in the legal field and over five years as an alternative medicine practitioner. 

I've come full circle. 

Six days a week, I stand at a six burner gas stove and a flat top grill cooking breakfast for a few hundred Marines.  It's familiar.

Two months ago, I left my non-stress job as a massage therapist, my beautiful apartment on Mercer Island, my friends, my life to travel over 1,200 miles to Twentynine Palms to open not one, not two, but three restaurants at the Marine Corps Air Ground Control Center's new MCX.  It was an act of service.  It was an act of total faith.
 
The day I arrived, I found myself trying to supervise the completion of construction, installation of equipment and opening three restaurants from the ground up.  My often repeated comment was, "I don't know what I'm doing."

The end of the first week found me devastatingly homesick for the lush green, mountains and water of Seattle.  The desert felt hostile, barren. 

Every day was more stressful than the day before as opening day approached.  Everything went wrong.  I began asking for higher guidance over every piece of paper and every next step of the process.  Finally, I asked every friend I knew to send me magic and somehow my despair lifted.

After one more morning of waking up totally anxious and in despair, I made a decision to be happy.  Even so I kept asking, "What am I doing in this desert?"

Then the answer came:

Remember,

The most powerful religions of the world were born of desert metaphysics

extremes of desert visions.

Moses, Jesus and Mohammed were men of the desert.

it was their home.

The sea was all right for special effect

- part it or walk on it -

But if they had serious business . . .

with God or the devil,

they went to the desert.

 

Michael Ventura

The restaurants opened on time. They're running relatively smoothly.  I've done what I came here to do.  It's time to go home. 

Barnes & Noble was my first stop today, the last day of the Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, Level 2 Workshop with Dr. Joe Dispenza in Seattle, Washington.  It's on the reading list on Dr Joe's website.  I've begun the discipline of making myself read the preface and forwards of books; sections I usually flip past to sink my mind straight into the meat of the text.  I am grateful that I read the preface of this book for it contained this paraphrase of Rabindranath Tagore: I have listened And I have looked With open eyes. I have poured my soul Into the world Seeking the unknown Within the known And I sing out loud In amazement. I cried.

I AM, the Documentary, was not the movie I thought I was going to see when I made the critical decision to get up off the couch and drive down to the University District of Seattle to see a movie by myself.  First I had to wrestle with the idea of whether I even wanted to move off the couch.  Then I had to decide whether to ask someone to go with me.  I decided against the latter.  I tend to cry in movies.  When I'm in bad space, I tend to sob.

For days, weeks and months I've been full of self-doubt, remorse, regret and guilt.  Did I do the right thing?  What's wrong with me?  Why has this dark night turned into a dark week, a dark month?

After overcoming my disappointment at I AM, the Documentary being the wrong movie, I hoped that I was exactly where I was supposed to be seeing exactly the movie I was supposed to see. 

There were points in the movie that I wanted to stop the frame, rewind it and watch it again.  I walked out of the movie knowing that I had absolutely done the right thing by packing my clothes, my dog, my massage table and moving to Seattle.

I AM, the Documentary is not going to be a box office hit.  There's no violence, no sex, no cruel jokes - only hope.

"There is a place deep within us that wants to feel fulfilled. . . . Wherever you are; you're only a thought away from changing your life."

The Shift, a movie with Dr. Wayne Dyer, is not a movie I would have chosen to watch. I respect Dr. Dyer's work. I agree with him. I just have never been able to read his books. So why did I end up watching this movie and writing about it?  I received a Cosmic Postcard. A friend who is familiar with my struggles and who knows my story intimately suggested I watch it. When she watched it, she thought of herself, of me, of my husband.

I fell asleep the first time I tried to watch it. The next morning I joined a group of friends for a morning meeting and the topic of discussion was, "How did you shift your perception? How did you shift your attitude from selfishness to compassion?" For the next hour I listened to other people's stories about changing their lives. 

Synchronicity. 

The Shift about a movie being filmed of Dr. Wayne Dyer.  It must be based on his book, The Shift: Taking Your Life from Ambition to Meaning.   As Dr. Dyer tells his own story of making a shift, the movie also follows three other characters who are struggling in life and need a shift of their own.

The movie reminded me of why I'm here.  It reminded me of the day I stood in a marriage counselors office with tears streaming down my face, passionately declaring that I had such a huge desire to help people that I would do anything to do it, including leaving my husband.  Sometimes I forget that as I swirl around in this place of uncertainty and sadness.  I don't know if watching this movie will inspire me to action.  I hope it inspires you.

Have you ever been gripped by fear and thought all was lost?  Sometimes the Universe just has a way of bringing new experiences into your life to help you learn and grow.

One of the things that I've learned from driving across county with only enough money to get me here and survive for a couple of months is that money is the easiest thing for me to manifest.  What I have done here in a very short period of time, I can do again.  What I have done here is something that I've done before - gone from nothing to something.

It's the fear that gets me.  When I am fearful about money, it's because I'm trying to be vibrationally less than what I've already achieved.  I've walked through too many fires and arose like a Phoenix, stronger, more alive than ever to believe in the fear. 

So like the quote below from Abraham says, it is not the numbers in my checking account, my ledger sheet, or other accounting trivia that the Universe responds to - it is my vibration; the vibration that emanates from my core believe that I am loved, worthy, and that the Creator of All Things knows me personally.

I know now, at this moment, that what I have created here I can create anywhere that I will always be okay; that all is truly well.

Where have you slipped away from your true belief?  Are there times when you have risen like a Phoenix out of the ashes of devastating experience in your life?

You cannot be less than you are now. You cannot achieve a vibration that is less than the vibration that you have achieved. That's why when someone achieves an empire and then something happens where it is lost or destroyed, they still have the vibration that they've achieved, and the empire will come back again—you see it all the time—because it is the vibrational status that the Universe is responding to, not the financial status.

--- Abraham

Excerpted from the workshop in Philadelphia, PA on Wednesday, May 7th, 2003 #658

Photo by Robert Molinarius on Flickr.com