If I take the time to take a couple of deep breaths to become deeply connected, little blurbs of wisdom sometimes pop out of my mouth.  I cannot take credit for them as I know that we are here to be channels and windows; not the source of the Light.  

Today's blurb was . . . 

How can we be unconditionally loving or unconditionally giving if we cannot be unconditionally receiving?

Thank you!  Thank you to the person who inspired that little blurb as she stood before trying to think of something of equal value to "repay" me for something that was entirely for free.  That little blurb popped out and the four of us stood there slightly stunned.

What I know for me is that I was raised to not use other people's things, not to take charity, not to owe anybody anything ever . . . see a pattern?  Which all means that I spent most of my life unable to receive a gift, unable to receive a compliment.  With umerited and unwarranted pride, I would try to repay every kindness threefold so feel that I did not owe anybody anthing.  What happened to change that?

At first it was a forced surrender of ego and pride caused by being a destitute single mother trying to raise three teenagers.  The only way my youngest son was able to travel with his soccer team and even make practices at times was through the kindness of the soccer coach and parents.  I was the ONLY SINGLE MOTHER in the area.

The true lessons in unconditional loving and unconditional giving came when I realized that if I had to always be the one giving, the one loving, doing, being . . . it was really about control as well as the need for attention and approval.  What does that look like in action?

Once upon a time at Christmas a long, long time ago in a land far away, I used to spend huge amounts of money on buying a husband everything he ever mentioned liking or wanting for Christmas.  Every Christmas morning he would open up his gifts from me and toss them asidej.  My heart would hurt because couldn't he see how much I loved him by the gifts I bought him?  Then I saw someone mirror my behavior.

A daughter-in-law gave her husband a jacket for Christmas.  It was not his style or something he would have chosen for himself.  When he didn't receive it with as much joy and enthusiasm as she needed, she confronted him about it.  I overheard this exchange and watched from afar as she even shed tears over her hurt feelings.  The poor guy started flayling to keep from drowning.  He put the jacket on.  He tried to thank her.  He tried to assure her that he loved it.

I saw myself.  

Unconditional means with no conditions. I'm going to give you this gift with no strings on it because I love you.  Period.  I'm going to love you unconditionally.  You don't have to do, be or have anything I want you to do, be or have.  My love just stands.  And most importantly . . . 

If you give me a gift, I am going to receive it with absolute glee and joy no matter what, trusting that you gift is free of attachment or strings.

Get the picture?

Lately I've been hearing people talk about studying life coaching, studying to be a health coach, studying to be a healer . . . I never wanted to be a healer.  I wanted to be a cook on a cattle ranch in Montana. 

Ranch cook was not chosen for me; healer was.

Even now I don't tout myself as a "healer".  There's so many expectations tied up in that word.  One is that the client usually expects me to believe in the disease more than the healing.  I'm sorry.  I don't believe in the disease. 

I believe in the mindset that creates the disease.

So if you want a kind, compassionate healer, you probably don't want me.  But if you want someone who ABSOLUTELY believes that YOU CAN HEAL, then I'm your person.  I'm the person who will help you uncover, discover, and discard the patterns of thinking and feeling that created the dis-ease in the first place.  I'm the person who will CHALLENGE you, ENCOURAGE you, and APPLAUD you when you take that one step, give up that one thing, take that small action in a new and exciting change in your life.

SO I FINALLY LOST WEIGHT by eating butter, bacon, and cheese.  Who knew? 

I cam upon the KETO DIET when I researched how to lose belly fat.  Like most women over 50 years old, all my weigh deposited itself right into my abdomen.  The cabbage soup diet didn't fix it.   Common sense eating didn't fix it and god knows I hate to do ab work.  Luckily I came upon a series of videos by Dr. Eric Berg.  His philosophy it to get "healthy and lose weight"; NOT "lose weight to get healthy".

Even though I watched his videos last year, I didn't do anything different until a couple of weeks ago.  My soccer shorts were too tight.  My work shorts were too tight.  My loosest short were too tight.  Everything was too tight.  My weight was up to 133 lbs.  I gained 10 lbs. over the last five years and it wouldn't go away.

My only GOAL at first was to CUT OUT SUGAR.  But then I started to watch Dr. Berg's videos and they made sense.  Fortunately, I had a fair amount of chemistry and biology to be a massage therapist so when he talks medical talk, I usually understand him.

The sugar went. The carbs went and I started eating more fat.  Up until this time, cheese had all but left my diet along with any other dairy products except ice cream.  All of that dairy is back in my diet except for the ice cream.  In fact, yesterday Andy & I ate Caprese salad on top of cheddar cheese chips.  Cheese on cheese.  Really?!!!!

And, YES!  I've manage to lose 7 lbs pretty easily. No calorie counting.  I do push my first meal back as far as possible.  Today I didn't eat until 3:00 p.m.

The pancakes you see with this post are gluten free.  The butter is Kerry Gold.  I tweaked the recipe a little so here you go:

HEALTHY LOW CARB KETO PANCAKES

in a blender mix:

4 eggs
4 oz. cream cheese
1 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. vanilla
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
3/4 c. almond flour

Blend well then our onto preheated griddle greased with melted butter over med-low heat.  Turn when bubbly on top.  Adjust heat as necessary.  Serve with more butter and fresh crushed strawberries.

I don't really believe in diets but I had to do something to lose the extra ten pounds I've gained over the past five years.  A muffin top and back fat have appeared on my body. 

Thanks to menopause every ounce I gain seems to land between my 12th rib and my hip add quitting smoking and my metabolism has changed.  The back fat actually started appearing a few years ago when I dated a guy who was overweight, meaning he was carrying an extra 20-30 pounds, his waist was a good 3-4 inches larger than his hips, and his cardiorespiratory health was lacking.

All of that is contagious.  Gradually I went from a relatively clean diet to eating heavy food that's high in fat and low in nutrition - meat loaf and mashed potatoes, fish & chips, eggs laced with cheddar cheese replaced a bagel with cream cheese and diced tomatoes; turkey with swiss cheese on whole grain bread, and a light dinner.  I was in Rome eating what the Romans eat. 

As a massage therapist, I may burn 300-500 calories per client, depending on the body size.  Playing soccer burns another 500-800 calories per hour.  I used the excuse that a high metabolism and lifestyle required more calories than normal to maintain and I unabashedly bragged that I ate whatever I wanted but stopped when I was full.  All true but I am still carrying around 10 pounds more than I was 5 years ago.  

I'm an all or nothing kind of woman.  Trying to cut down on bread, cookies, carbs, fat, and sugar gradually was not happening, especially since I wasn't eating that much of it anyway.  What was killing me were the times I would walk into the kitchen so hungry that I would stand at the counter eating anything I could put in my mouth while I was cooking dinner.  Something had to change like total abstinence from fat, sugar, and carbs.  Enter the Cabbage Soup Diet.

The Cabbage Soup Diet is a no carb, no sugar, no fat kind of diet that helps you quickly lose up to 10 pounds.  It consists of cabbage soup that you can eat all seven days, and then various days of all vegetables, all fruits, skim milk & bananas, a couple of days that add steak, and a final day of brown rice & vegetables.  Medical opinions say that you lose 10 pounds of water weight that will return as soon as you eat a normal diet.  I frankly don't care if it's water weight - 10 pounds is 10 pounds.  Thankfully I tend to lose the weight wear I put it on - right in the middle.

It helps that a friend is doing the Cabbage Soup Diet with me.  Misery loves company and let me tell you the first couple of days is brutal.  We both ate continuously, gorging ourselves on soup, vegetables, and fruit while simultaneously whining, complaing, and longing for a cookie!  It's almost over though.  My friend has 5 days to go and I have 4.  I've lost over 3 pounds and she's pretty closing to losing the same amount.  Three pounds isn't much if you need to lose 30 pounds but if you only want to lose 10, that means you're a third of the way there. 

In the long run I'm just hoping to detox my system and break the cycle of eating that I've been in for the past few years. 

Stay tuned . . .

I'm not a mechanic.  The nuts and bolts of your physiology and anatomy is not what I'm concerned with during a massage therapy session.  What I'm in tune with is your energy.

Where is the energy stuck in your body?

When I suggest that you take a deep breath, where do you start breathing?  At your diaphragm?  Your gut?  Is the breath/energy stuck in your throat? 

Your body is only the messenger of the information that I receive about you.  No matter what your words are telling me, your emotional brain (limbic system) and your body's responses, tell me the truth.  Your body doesn't lie.

So when you come to me with a sore shoulder, tense hip, stiff neck, those symptoms are only the clues to what is going on with you energetically. 

Sore shoulder?  What are you hanging on to that you obviously should let go of?

Stiff neck?  Are being open minded about a difficult situation in your life or are you in conflict?

Hip issues?  Where are you out of balance in your life?  Are you refusing to move down a new path?

So if you want someone to talk with you about your hip flexors, adductors, or rotator cuff, and methodically massage away your pain, I can do that.  You would just be missing out on the best experience.  On the other hand if you want to know, understand, and learn how your thoughts and feelings create the dis-stress you feel in your body; if you want to take control of your health and well being . . . then I'm the one for you.

Thirteen years ago today in 2004, I was standing  in the den of a home in Lancaster, Ohio.  The man sitting on the hearth had his head against my chest.  Slowly I ran my hand along the middle of his back.

With a slight tone of arrogance he said, "Do I do that to you?"

"What?," I asked.

"Your heart rate is fast."  I guess he should know.  He was a doctor.

"That's nothing.  Watch this."  With focused intention, I drew in a deep breath, held it for a moment, rearranged my energy, and dropped my heart rate to a slow, steady beat.

The man jumped away from me as if he were burned, "Oh my God! What was that?"

The words M-A-S-S-A-G-E  T-H-E-R-A-P-Y scrolled across my mind like a banner behind a plane.

"WHAT?  YOU WANT ME TO DO WHAT?" I asked silently.

Within a month I was enrolled in school, 2 years later I was licensed in the State of Ohio, and. . . . well you know the rest of the story.

Have you ever wished you could find the OFF SWITCH for stress and anxiety?  Recent medical articles suggest that stimulating the vagus nerve turns off the fight or flight response of the sympathetic nervous system and switches on the parasympathetic nervous system which is responsible for the rest & digest and feed & breed activities of the body.

Stimulating the vagus nerve can:

• decrease pain and inflammation
• help with memory
• effect breathing
• control your heart rate
• initiate relaxation response

How do you stimulate the vagus nerve.  Medically you can have an electrical implant placed in your chest or you could learn the simpler, more economic ways to stimulate your vagus nerve.

• humming - chanting OM
• conscious breathing - a technique I teach my clients
• valsalva maneuver - exhaling against a closed mouth and pinched nose
• splashing your face with cold water to initiate the diving reflex

When I work with you on coping with stress or anxiety, one of the first things we do is breathe in a manner that can reduce your heart rate, lessen the feeling of pressure in your chest, and normalize your feelings.  That combined with massage therapy and life coaching gives you the control you need to cope with life's challenges big or small.
_________________________
Sources
The vagus nerve and the inflammatory reflex - linking immunity and metabolism, Nat Rev Endocrinol. Author manuscript; available in PMC 2014 Jul 4.
Natural vagus nerve stimulaton - Dr. Arielle Schwartz, 7/192015,
9 nervy facts about the vagus nerve, 7/2//2015
Hacking the nervous system, 5/30//2015
Vagus Nerve Stimulation, retrieved 12/15/2015

Everyone wants to fall in love.  Books are written.  Classes taken.  Every article, quote, hocus pocus magic spell about falling in love is eagerly lapped up by the every increasing members of the Lonely Heart Club.  But what if you simply fell in love?  How would that change your life?

More than once over the past few years, I have felt the physical feeling of falling love sweep through my being just at the sight of something beautiful.  In both instances the feeling made me declare my love out loud.

The first time was in Malibu Bluffs Park as I was driving from Twenty-nine Palms, California to Seattle.  My dog needed out so I pulled into the nearest park.  We walked up to the top of the bluff into the park where the entire Malibu coastline burst into view.  The sun was shining and I felt my heart open up with that feeling of love. 

Out loud I said, "Oh my god, I'm falling in love."

I stayed an extra day in Malibu.  For a few months after I returned home, I toyed with the idea of moving there.  Sometimes I still do.

The last time I fell in love with my life was a month of so ago.  I drove south on the I-5 in Seattle late at night only to find a traffic jam at the 90 bridge.  I simply turned around and made the short trek north to take the 520 bridge across the lake to home.  Little did I know that a full moon would be hanging over the water in all its majesty.  Again I cried out loud, "I am so in love with my life."

All good things can come to she who lives life with an open heart.  Little did I know that every time I fell in love with life itself that my heart expanded to make room for more love and goodness from an abundant Universe.  And just when I think there's no more room, my heart expands just a little bit more . . .

Marianne Williamson's quote about "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure . . . " popped up on my Facebook page today.  This quote was my beacon of light decades ago when I started changing from playing small to stepping into the shoes that fit and just being myself.

Maybe it's because I'm the last of the Baby Boomer generation or because it's still an unspoken archetype of the past but I was given beliefs like "girls can't do math", "men don't like strong, smart women", "don't be a pushy broad" . . . When you're spoon fed garbage like that as a small child it goets lodged somewhere in your subconscious where it later rises up and causes conflict.

In my 20s, I played small all the time to be attractive and not threaten men or other women.  I couldn't do higher math until my 30s because in my teens I was told "girls can't do math" and I was too distracted by booze boys and drugs focus on algebra.  I also learned that a graduate school degree of any kind - J.D. or M.D. - did not automatically make a man smarter than I.   In my 40s, after thousands of dollars worth of psychotherapy, I stopped rejecting and just accepted the fact that I was intelligent. 

And, in my 50s I stopped hiding it.

I think the most important part of the Marianne Williamson's quote is this:

" . . . as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Life is simple really.  We were put here to love each other and help each other.  When we stop playing small, find our voice, find our purpose then DO IT, we encourage others to do the same.  We lead by example.  It is not our words or philosophies that change the world. It is our actions.

Love & light,

Pixie

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

• A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles", Ch. 7, Section 3 (1992), p. 190.

This morning I had breakfast at the Portage Bay Cafe on Terry Ave. in Seattle.  It's tagline is "Eat Like You Give a Damn" and "Local.  Organic.  Sustainable."  I loved this place, not because I ate something incredibly healthy - scrambled eggs, spinach, chicken sausage, potatoes and a thick piece of toasted whole wheat bread; it's that tagline that gets me.

Although there are times when my job or soccer have totally depleted me and I'm standing at my kitchen counter stuffing calories into me as fast as I can, most of the time I have an awareness of the food that I'm eating.  More importantly, I have an awareness of the energy of the food that I'm eating and the energy of the cook who has prepared it.

Did you know that food absorbs the energy of the cook?  That's my one big hang-up about eating out.  I want the cook to care about me or care about the food.  Either way, I'm going to benefit from those good vibes.

Most imporant is my awareness and attitude toward food.  Is it my enemy or my friend?  Am I living to eat or eating to live?  Am I more worried about how I look or about how I feel?  Is this energy efficient food or comforting, make me sleep food?  Am I eating with a sense of joy and appeciation or am I filled with guilt?

You cannot feed your body a local, organic, sustainable diet, and fuel your mind with toxic, negative thoughts and feelings.  So eating like you give a damn is more than the food you put into your mouth; it's what you think and feel about it too.