If I take the time to take a couple of deep breaths to become deeply connected, little blurbs of wisdom sometimes pop out of my mouth. I cannot take credit for them as I know that we are here to be channels and windows; not the source of the Light.
Today's blurb was . . .
How can we be unconditionally loving or unconditionally giving if we cannot be unconditionally receiving?
Thank you! Thank you to the person who inspired that little blurb as she stood before trying to think of something of equal value to "repay" me for something that was entirely for free. That little blurb popped out and the four of us stood there slightly stunned.
What I know for me is that I was raised to not use other people's things, not to take charity, not to owe anybody anything ever . . . see a pattern? Which all means that I spent most of my life unable to receive a gift, unable to receive a compliment. With umerited and unwarranted pride, I would try to repay every kindness threefold so feel that I did not owe anybody anthing. What happened to change that?
At first it was a forced surrender of ego and pride caused by being a destitute single mother trying to raise three teenagers. The only way my youngest son was able to travel with his soccer team and even make practices at times was through the kindness of the soccer coach and parents. I was the ONLY SINGLE MOTHER in the area.
The true lessons in unconditional loving and unconditional giving came when I realized that if I had to always be the one giving, the one loving, doing, being . . . it was really about control as well as the need for attention and approval. What does that look like in action?
Once upon a time at Christmas a long, long time ago in a land far away, I used to spend huge amounts of money on buying a husband everything he ever mentioned liking or wanting for Christmas. Every Christmas morning he would open up his gifts from me and toss them asidej. My heart would hurt because couldn't he see how much I loved him by the gifts I bought him? Then I saw someone mirror my behavior.
A daughter-in-law gave her husband a jacket for Christmas. It was not his style or something he would have chosen for himself. When he didn't receive it with as much joy and enthusiasm as she needed, she confronted him about it. I overheard this exchange and watched from afar as she even shed tears over her hurt feelings. The poor guy started flayling to keep from drowning. He put the jacket on. He tried to thank her. He tried to assure her that he loved it.
I saw myself.
Unconditional means with no conditions. I'm going to give you this gift with no strings on it because I love you. Period. I'm going to love you unconditionally. You don't have to do, be or have anything I want you to do, be or have. My love just stands. And most importantly . . .
If you give me a gift, I am going to receive it with absolute glee and joy no matter what, trusting that you gift is free of attachment or strings.
Get the picture?