Walking a resume into a Starbucks sounds like a simple task but eight months ago it was enough to send me into a full blown panic attack. My self-esteem was in the shitter. I didn't drive almost 3,000 miles across country because I felt loved and wanted at home. In Seattle though, the only thing running me down were the voices in my head. My only obstacle was me.
I drove across county with the running thoughts of, "My husband doesn't love My husband doesn't want me." Even though I was the one who left, my belief was that I was bad. There is something terribly wrong with me. No one wants me.
The first day I meant to introduce myself at the local Starbucks, I dressed, grabbed 10 resumes, and got into my car to drive to town. As I walked out the door, anxiety began silently gnawing at my stomach. It chewed its way up into my chest until I was so distracted, I ran a red light and almost hit a pedestrian. Thankfully, I was driving very, very slowly. The woman in the crosswalk glared at me and hurried across the street.
By the time I parked the car, a full blown panic attack loomed. I sat in my car for a moment taking deep breaths and reassuring myself that I could go home if I gave out just one resume.
Fear - False Evidence Appearing Real
The manager wasn't available at the Starbucks I visited. I only had to shake hands and chat with a barrista. The actual meeting was easy. No one told me to go away. No one rejected me. I didn't die. I was okay but the thought of doing it again overwhelmed me. I congratulated myself on having courage in the face of my fear and went home. My goal for the next day was to do the same thing.
Have you suffered anxiety at the thought of an interview, a face-to-face meeting while job hunting? How has that fear blocked your success?
Photo by Dimitri N on Flickr.com.
- What are you afraid of?
- Can you resize your objectives or goals?
- What can you do today?
- What method can you use to ease the physical feeling of fear?
- Where can you find support?
- What thoughts activate the fear?
- What are opposite thoughts?
- Are you applying for a job that you really want?
- Will you love it?
- Do you love or at least respect the products or services?