Anything you do to overcome or prevent, causes a spotlight on the very thing you are wanting to overcome and prevent. You cannot take enough action to compensate for the Energy that you're flowing.

--- Abraham

So the deal is and always been that fighting against something keeps our attention on it.  turning our attention to something else is always the key.  It's not about ignoring the person, place of thing that feels bad; it's about turning your attention to what feels good right here, right now.  It could be anything.  What makes you feel good?  Chocolate ice cream?  A beautiful sunrise? 

One day I was sitting in a grocery store snack bar talking on the phone.  I was alone yet still I was filled with anxiety and despair from the running conversation in my mind.  As I was whining on the phone, someone grabbed me around the waist.  Startled I looked down and found the 4 year old daughter of a friend hugging me tightly.  I laughed and immediately hung up the phone. 

"Where's your mommy?"  I asked.  The little girl pointed a few feet away where her mother stood grinning at me.  I rose and went over to hug the mother.  Another friend soon approached and another round of hugs ensued.  We chatted briefly and then I went on about my day.

Half an hour later I left the store.  The negative discourse in my mind began again threatening to trigger negative feelings about someone and something I could not change. What was my defense?  I began reciting the names of the people in the grocery store, "Kayla, Allison, Angela.  Kayla, Allison, Angela.  Kayla . . . "  I spent the rest of the day reciting their names every time despair or sadness about my "reality" arose.

Did the reality of my situation change?  No.  But for that day, I felt better.

What can you think about or remember today that feels good? 

Note:  This usually doesn't work with people or things to which we have emotional attachment because we seem to think that emotional attachment gives us some right to strong opinions about how they should live their lives.  It must be something that is free of all negative emotion.  Thinking of a child, grandchild or spouse whom you would eventually worry about or miss or feel guilt about will not work.  I know we've talked about this before but I forget, don't you?