Remember the Serenity Prayer? It totally applies to a relationship with a difficult boss.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
Courage to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Now it's time to put that Universal Principle into action on the job. What do you need to accept that you cannot change? You cannot change your boss. You can teach them how to treat you after you are certain
that your side of the sidewalk is clean. Is it?
- Do you show up for work on time with a good attitude prepared to work?
- Do you spend your day being productive or getting results?
- Have you learned to resolve your feelings?
- How much time do you spend surfing the internet?
- Playing solitaire? Personal phone calls?
- Gossiping or complaining?
- Do you give your employer a dime for his nickel?
- Do you show up for work to see what you can give rather than what you can get?
Years ago when I worked in law firms, I was always surprised when I walked up behind another staff member to find him playing solitaire on the computer. I had a heavy work load and multiple deadlines. I didn't even know where the games were on the system. Yet I could not judge or criticize. My slate was not totally clean. I made personal phone calls.
In another firm one of the staff members was very social. Her role in that firm was one of counselor and adviser to the other staff members about their personal problems. Their continued visits to her desk disrupted the work flow and her productivity. Her boss asked her to stop visiting so much. She was outraged and hurt. It wasn't her fault. What was she supposed to do?
In both cases it was not unreasonable for the boss to ask for more productivity and less personal business on his time. In my instance, all I needed to reduce the personal phone calls.
In the other person's case, she needed to set boundaries around her time at work with a simple, "I'm in the middle of something. Can we discuss this later?"
If you're sure you're doing a good job, not bringing your old personal wounds to work, and being a good employee, the next post is about helping you reframe your idea of the characteristics of a perfect boss.