A couple of things started this series of blog posts about difficult bosses. One was working with a friend who had a difficult boss. The other was listening to podcasts of The McCarthy Show about Boss/Employee Relationships. Jim & Michele McCarthy, in an intelligent and humorous way, discuss the characteristics of the "perfect boss".
The second part of the Serenity Prayer is "courage to change the things I can". Reframing our own expectations is part of that change. It's not about being right or wrong. It's about moving a little to the left or to the right, to see things from a different perspective. The McCarthy podcasts are about changed perspectives. I don't know about you but change takes courage for me!
Here's a short list of what was mentioned in the first podcast about Boss/Employee Relationships. The perfect boss:
- Only pays attention to those who get results.
- Is an adult who believes in the individual's responsibility for personal welfare.
- Arranges for you to have a paycheck.
- Pay according to merit.
- Doesn't listen to gossip or complaints about someone.
- Invites you to leave if your job is painful to you.
- Expects you to work (produce results) and communicates his expectations clearly.
- Does not reward trying, only rewards results.
- Prefers status updates to waiting or asking for permission.
- Is always too busy for a crisis and never too busy for connection.
You really have to listen to the podcast to hear Jim & Michele sharing this information. After listening to the podcasts, I talked to Michele McCarthy about it to confirm my understanding of what was being said.
My summary: The perfect boss doesn't reward you for your feelings. The perfect boss cares about what you do. A perfect boss expects you to show up for work to do a job and get results. The perfect boss is an adult and expects you to be an adult.
If you have identified any role you may be playing in a relationship with difficult dynamics and have taken steps to change that role, then it's time to talk about how to cope with a boss who is not the perfect boss.