Skip to main content
 Pixie's Blog 
Monday, August 24 2009
A couple of things started this series of blog posts about difficult bosses.  One was working with a friend who had a difficult boss.  The other was listening to podcasts of The McCarthy Show about Boss/Employee Relationships.  Jim & Michele McCarthy, in an intelligent and humorous way, discuss the characteristics of the "perfect boss".

The second part of the Serenity Prayer is "courage to change the things I can".  Reframing our own expectations is part of that change.  It's not about being right or wrong.  It's about moving a little to the left or to the right, to see things from a different perspective.  The McCarthy podcasts are about changed perspectives.  I don't know about you but change takes courage for me!

Here's a short list of what was mentioned in the first podcast
about Boss/Employee Relationships. The perfect boss:
  • Only pays attention to those who get results.
  • Is an adult who believes in the individual's responsibility for personal welfare.
  • Arranges for you to have a paycheck.
  • Pay according to merit.
  • Doesn't listen to gossip or complaints about someone.
  • Invites you to leave if your job is painful to you.
  • Expects you to work (produce results) and communicates his expectations clearly.
  • Does not reward trying, only rewards results.
  • Prefers status updates to waiting or asking for permission.
  • Is always too busy for a crisis and never too busy for connection.

You really have to listen to the podcast to hear Jim & Michele sharing this information.  After listening to the podcasts, I talked to Michele McCarthy about it to confirm my understanding of what was being said.

My summary:  The perfect boss doesn't reward you for your feelings.
  The perfect boss cares about what you do.  A perfect boss expects you to show up for work to do a job and get results.  The perfect boss is an adult and expects you to be an adult.

If you have identified any role you may be playing in a relationship with difficult dynamics and have taken steps to change that role, then it's time to talk about how to cope with a boss who is not the perfect boss.

Posted by Michele McCarthy on 08/24/2009 - 07:37 AM
This is a good summary Pixie. It reminds me that WHO you work for is everything. In my experience, if you work for someone who you respect and love, it doesn't matter what you are working on; you will love your work and make it great. I think we tend to discount the WHO in bosses. We complain a lot but we have trouble with the upside. The upside is that we can look for a GREAT boss and go work for that person on purpose. I know a few bosses who I would do any job for because they are such great bosses. Michele
Posted by Christophe Thibaut on 08/24/2009 - 09:12 PM
Hello Pixie, Jim & Michele also wrote a short article on the subject of the perfect boss (google mcCarthy Perfect Boss should do). I just gave a copy of that article to my boss last week. He's far from being a difficult boss, but I still think his work -- as well as mine -- will benefit from this definition. Of course, realizing you don't have the perfect boss is not the only possible use of the article. In my interactions with my boss, I try to notice and explicitely appreciate it when he acts like a perfect boss. Christophe.
Posted by Paul Reeves on 08/25/2009 - 03:20 AM
Hi Pixie; What's neat for me is that the teamwork best practices embodied in the McCarthy's BootCamp retreats include the "Perfect Boss". And, as a BootCamp instructor, I get to practice being that Boss! It's really neat to see the look on participant's faces dealing with boss behaviour they usually are not used to. It's also great fun to practice being that boss, after years of being a mediocre boss in my corporate career. And now, consulting with clients and coaching managers, I can help them with specific behaviours and language to help them be better bosses. It's all very cool. Cheers, Paul
Posted by Pixie on 08/25/2009 - 03:56 PM
Chris & Paul, exactly. Many of us know who a difficult boss is! The McCarthys have helped define who a Perfect Boss is!
Post comment
Name
Email Address

Message
(max 750 characters)
Note: All comments are subject to approval. Your comment will not appear until it has been approved.

PIXIE STEVENSON, LMP 
Licensed massage therapist, certified professional coach Learn more . . . 
Site Mailing List 
Massage & Mind/Body Therapy

Pixie Stevenson, LMP - Enigma Wellness

Locations in Kahala and near Kapiolani Park
Honolulu, Hawaii, 96816
Phone:  808-859-8088
Email:  info@enigmawellness.com