As I was driving up the freeway this morning, I saw two signs on either side of the road that said, "STAY IN LANE."
I thought, "Those should be posted everywhere!"
My Life Recovery journey has included learning to stay in my own lane. By living that simple traffic rule, I have been able to sustain my own peace and happiness even when I've been surrounded by other people's chaos and drama.
How do you stay in your lane? By minding your own business - mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
What happens when we don't stay in our lane in relationships? There is an emotional collision. We cut someone off and they get a resentment.
Mentally we can stay in our own lane by not worrying or obsessively thinking about someone else and her problems. We mind our own mental business, staying in the present moment and focusing our mental energy on tasks we can accomplish. We learn that we don't have to share every thought we think. We learn that we aren't mind readers either. How many times have you heard yourself say, "I know what you're thinking"?
Emotionally staying in your lane is all about detachment. Life recovery means being adult enough to know at our core that we get to choose how we're going to think about something and thereby choose how we're going to feel about it. It's learning that we can never feel enough pain in our hearts to change someone else or to heal their pain. It is only by remaining steady in our own emotional being that we can teach someone to be steady in theirs.
Spiritually we stay in our lane by minding our own spiritual business. What would that look like? It means not preaching about spiritual principles and simply leading by the clarity of our example. If we are all one and we are all on a spiritual journey, who are we to judge another?