Stressful work relationships can drain us mentally, emotionally, and physically in the same manner that our personal relationships can. Think about it, if you work 9:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m., five days a week, you probably spend as many waking hours with the people at work as you do with the people at home. If you're stressed out at work, that often bleeds over into your home life. If you're stressed out at home, that spills over to your career. The question is - what are you going to do about it? What can you do about it?
In the post, Relationships and the Law of Attraction
, we said that we attract all our relationships to help us grow and that repeating patterns of relationships are signals for us to look inside to see where we need to change.
What about your boss? What about that other secretary or assistant that creates conflict? What about the IT person who makes you feel stupid? What lessons could those relationships possibly hold for you?
Syliva Lafair in her book, Don't Bring It to Work
, says that our behavior at work is motivated by childhood behavior patterns. Even into adulthood, we live up to the labels we were given as a child:
- Smart One
- Pretty Girl
- Weak One
- Funny One
- Bad One
- Compliant One
- Industrious One
- Social One
Lafair then discusses 13 common character pattern that evidence in the workplace:
- Drama Queen
Lafair outline how our childhood patterns replay themselves in our roles at work. She suggests as a solution that we should discover our own patterns and own them in an safe environment so we can turn those character defects into assets in our workplace. Read the book and everything will be well, right?
I don't know about you but usually when I read a book like this I can immediately see someone else's behavior. It takes a little more digging to see my
role in a relationships. Meantime until I change that core belief that's driving my role, I have to develop defenses and strategies to maintain my sanity and integrity.
I was a Victim, Rescuer, and Martyr in the workplace. To play those roles, I always had to attract a Persecutor, another Victim, and a Super-Achiever. In the next series of posts, I'll share insights and stories related to how I coped and changed within the workplace.
Do you work with someone who fits into one of those personalities? Can you see yourself? What have you done to cope and change?